Help Needed

I have had a Blog set up for over 4 years but not been able to bring myself to write anything till now. Even as I write this I am not sure I will actually post it. I am an inherently self sufficient, proud and private person and don't like the idea of people knowing my thoughts, my life and my business. I also hate to appear weak, needy or anything other than perfect . . . Ha ha, I am so far from that.

I have spent my adult life trying very hard not to need people or ask for anything because from experience the price is often too high. Life however has other ideas and has found a way to put me in a position which forces me to be needy, to beg, to plead, to be humble enough to ask and to accept that I cannot do it on my own.

I have a beautiful daughter with a disability.

A is 17 and as her 18th birthday rapidly approaches and I fill out paper work for guardianship, start applying frantically for grants, try desperately to come up with brilliant ideas to keep her happily occupied for the rest of her life and consider her future, I am realising I need help!
My husband, my younger daughter and I can no longer be A's whole world, we can't live her life for her facilitating everything she does or gets involved in and we can't create a future for her without help.

In the Future Planning literature provided by government agencies they say that future planning should involve the identification of formal and informal supports for the person with a disability.
A support network is described as " . . . a group of people who come together to assist the person and share in their life. This ensures that the person always has others around on whom they can rely to assist them when the need arises. This support may be drawn from family and friends, the local community and specific community groups. It may include government and community services like disability, health and housing services, subsidies and concessions and funding."

Formal supports are questionable since they are usually provided by the government or government funded agencies which couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery and which don't pay very well so the people employed are not always reliable or very good at providing support. I will get on my soap box about that another day.

Today it is the Informal Supports that have me worried and where things get complicated.
Family support is pretty much non existent  We live in Australia and the majority of the rest of my family live in South Africa. Our nearest relative is 1,100 km away in a nursing home and unable to walk without a frame. Of course we get some phone calls, Facebook comments and even the odd email with wishes of support, a "we're thinking of you" and even a "you're doing such a great job", but when it comes to actual help and support it's just not there. Despite the difficulties we can face when socialising with A's behaviour and needs we have managed to make and keep a few fantastic friends over the years  but these friends live their own busy lives, one or two of them have been there for us in an emergency - thank God - but essentially we see them rarely and spend most of our time alone.

So here I am now begging, asking and bearing my soul. Today I need help figuring out how to create a support network for my daughter. A network of people who really care and who will be there for her,  socialise with her,  help her with her finances,  help her with her personal care (without abusing her - a story for another day), who feed her, who keep her safe and who love her so that one day when my husband and I just can't do it alone any more or are dead she still has the support she needs, is kept safe and most importantly is loved, respected and cherished for the beautiful person she is and so that she can take part in life.